Her : u tahu fikir kepala otak u sendiri je weh. takpe, i tak penting. i bodoh. terima kasih ok.
Her : bagus. terima kasih byk byk. u nak i blah, i akan blah.
Her : siapa yg beperangai taik skg?! i dah kunci pintu u and u mmg tanak jumpa i kan, so i blah jela. itu yg u nak kan???!!
Her : just stop being paranoid. takda masa lah i nak curang dgn **** or *******. u tak percaya, u tanya dorg sendiri la ok. please la.otak u fikir nonsense. tapi kalau u nak i blah, i akan blah. u mmg aggap i ni mcm bodoh. this is how u thank me after what i've don for u. u cakap perangai i mcm taik, perangai u pun dua kali lima u tahu tak? sabar jela ***. u buat la apa u nak. u nak uji tahap kesabaran i, go ahead. who i am to stop u? u tak payah anggap i ni gf u la kalau u nak buat semua ni.
Her : u can cry as much as u want, cause as much as i care about your feelings, u never bothered about mine. so ure free to do whatever it is u want to, i cant stop u. i dah tak larat. apa benda u nak i buat semua i dah buat. i tak larat la ok. i dah tak larat nak nangis la sbb u, but since u tak nak jumpa i, i will get someone to go get from u and i'll get that whoever to send medication for your fever la.
Her : apa yg u cakap dgn i, u cakap kat diri u ok? u nak blame i, blame la. mmg salah i. i tahu.
Her : i sgt tak nak gaduh dgn u ok. im sorry kalau u rasa i sorok benda dari u. i care bout u, i care bout u alot. u tgh sakit skg so i tak nak buat u lagi sakit hati. i hope u berbuka already. im sorry
Her : i already give in. u still tak nak reply msg i? u dah makan belum?
..........................................................................................21 August 2011
Her : siapa je ada kat rumah. u jgn nak biadap dgn i boleh? i dtg nak jumpa u, cakap elok elok dgn u, mcm ni u layan i?
Her : i tanya u skg, u tgh cakap dgn siapa skg. u jawab i. u tgh cakap dgn siapa skg?
Her : u msg dgn siapa.
Her : I ni siapa?
Her : Siapa dia?
Her : im asking u, who am i? asal u biadap sgt? dah tak reti nak hormat org?
Her : u anggap ni apa skg ni? kawan?
Her : yesterday was yesterday. u know what? the more u buat perangai, the more i see ur attitude is similar to ********. the more i can relate u to her. dont u ever regret if u piss me off and i did the same to what i did to her. u keluar dari kamsis skg. i nak amek wallet i then i blah dari u.
Her : oh perangai i? okay miss PERFECT, u bagi wallet i sekarang then u dah tak payah tgk muka ni lagi ok.
Her : pmpn! u yg mintak semua ni ok! kepala otak u yg fikir mcm mcm taik! pastu u suruh i blah! u nak sgt i blah kan?! i nak ada dgn u everyday tapi u nak i blah! U YG SURUH I BLAH! itu je u tahu! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! u igt i suka ke semua ni?! i nak settlekan pastu u buatkan jadi teruk!
Her : i nak wallet i sekarang.
Her : im done crying la ok. for all this bullshit, not worth my tears. i tak buat apa apa utk sakitkan hati u. tuhan pun tahu i tak buat apa apa utk sakitkan hati u. kalau betul dia tahu i ada buat benda tak elok belakang u, dia akan dah kantoikan i mcm dia buat 2 kali lepas. u sendiri yg fikir bukan bukan utk sakitkan hati u. i bukti mcm mana pun, otak u sendiri tetap akan mencemarkan fikiran u. so dalam hal ni, i dah tak boleh nak buat apa. mmg dah tak mampu nak buat or kata apa apa kat u. u kena tanya diri u sendiri. u dah lama kenal i, u tahu perangai i sebenar mcm mana. mcm mana i syg u, mcm mana i tak suka benda ni and benda tu. u figure it out yourself, and yes u are right, i mmg dah give up. i dah give up dgn diri i sendiri. i dah give up with my life. its ok if u want to fight ur way through, but im done. i give up. u nak i mengalah, this is me, tgh mengalah skg. white flag up. so im sorry if i keep hurting u without me knowing for the few years that we've known each other. but its pleasure knowing u and thanks for showing me who i can really be and who i really am. thanks for sharing your love with me.
Her : no. ure right. u said so urself, i've changed. and yes, im weak and can never be a winner. and yes, i dont belong with you, cause right now it doesnt matter anymore, i've given up on u and myself. and moreover, u dont want or need me anymore, so yes, i've given up.
..........................................................................................22 August 2011
Her : i dah sampai rumah. since u pun takda interest nak msg i. i nak tido skg. and i rasa next time i takkan cakap sorry kalau itaak buat silap, sbb everytime i cakap sorry bila i tak buat silap, u akan buat perangai. so lain kali kita biar je ok? nak gaduh, tak nak bercakap seminggu, kita biar je. until u come to ur senses. i dah cakap dgn u, i dah give up. i dah tak larat. mcm kejar budak budak, i dah penat, tak larat, so i give up. u nak menang, amek la ok. u take care. good night. sweet dreams. i love u.
Her : i love u but i cant keep doing this with u. u may think that its not obvious, but it really is. bila kita gaduh, u igt kwn kwn u tak perasan ke? bila tak gaduh, bila i panggil u, elok je u jawab. bila gaduh, bila i panggil u, u layan i mcm mana? i ta suka la ok. i know they know about us, tapi kalau boleh, i ta suka menunjuk sgt. u tolong faham la boleh tak? i ulang benda sama 10 kali pun u tetap akan buat benda sama. i dah takda nafas la nak cakap dgn u mcm mana semua. sumpah i benci sgt gaduh dgn u. u jgn nak gaduh dgn i boleh tak? sakit hati la sikit sikit nak merajuk dan bagai. i sayang u la ok. so tolong la, kalau u sayang i, jaga la imej kita sikit.
Her : u tahu tak dah nak raya and we are still fighting like small kids? sehari tak gaduh tak boleh ke?? u tak bosan ke? u nak i cakap sorry for everything i tak buat salah? ok, sorry, i love u. dah, itu boleh puaskan hati u? tlg la. sumpah la, i dah tak larat ok.
Her : sbb mmg betul i dah give up ok. i dah tatau nak cakap mcm mana dgn u, nak buat apa dgn u. everything i do semua salah bagi u. mcm i dah tak layak la dgn u ok! u make me feel that way! i wish i could have a better life but i tak boleh lepaskan u, sbb i syg u tp bila i try, apa i buat, semua salah, pastu sikit sikit nak merajuk, bila i pujuk, lagi u byk nak cakap. so i dah mati akal la ok. i give up. kalau u dah tak boleh syg i, terima i mcm dulu, then yes, i faham kalau u want to end the relationship, sbb i dah give up on us. ye, u nak salahkan i, go ahead, mmg salah i sbb give up tp i mmg dah tak larat. siapa yg larat hari hari gaduh? u bgtau i. siapa yg larat?
Her : bila i sound u? i panggil nama u je kan? salah ke WEYH?
Her : u salam dorang cium pipi is pipi kena pipi kan? u cium i, bibir u kena pipi kan. its a huge difference la ok. kenapa tak boleh tunggu dorg keluar dari kereta? mmg selalu tunggu dorg turun kereta kan? kenapa hari ni tak boleh?
Her : lain kali jaga ton suara bila cakap dgn i boleh? ni sikit sikit u balik la.
Her : i dah tak larat na kena semua ni dari u faham? i dah tahu mcm mana nak reply u. perlu ke gaduh sampai mcm ni? perlu ke semua ni? perlu ke u merajuk pasal benda kecil? raby pun cakap u suka merajuk? so apa lagi i boleh cakap? u cakap u nak ubah sensitiviti u tu, tp sampai skg, sama je. every little thing sensitif bg u, then benda tu jadi salah i. i gurau salah, i cakap fakta pun salah. nak buat mcm mana? i yg sakit hati tahu tak? i always say to myself, kalau i diam je lebih bagus. takda nak terasa semua, tak payah har hari gaduh, u faham tak apa i fikir?
Her : bila u masuk tu u suruh i balik. i dengar.
Her : sorry
Her : im sorry but sometimes, or most of time, when we fight, mmg itulah i fikir. i fikir i nak hidup sorg, so that problem i semua i tanggung sendiri, org lain tak payah sakit sbbkan i. problem i, i settle dgn cara sendiri. and all i want for u, is to be happy. kalau dgn i, u asyik sakit, asyik sedih, asyik nangis pasal i, walaupon i syg u sgt sgt, still, buat apa u stay dgn i? i tak boleh buat u happy. mmg itu sahaja i fikir bila kita gaduh, sbb tu i tak suka gaduh dgn u. im sorry.
Her : i tak nak fikir but i akan terfikir jgk. sbb tu i cakap i tak nak gaduh dgn u, faham?
Her : akan terfikir jgk 1 hari
Her : i have to be ready. despite how much i dont want to let u go, one day later we will have to let each other go.
Her : well yes, i rasa kalau i betul betul tak tahan, i meletup, mmg i akan cakap benda tu. main point is, i tak nak gaduh dgn u, kalau gaduh, kepala i mesti ke arah sana.
Her : i syg tp bila u buat perangai, i betul betul buat i marah and i just want to be left alone. tu je.
Her : kalau i dah betul betul marah dgn perangai u, i akan fikr u dah tak bole terima i, and i dah tak boleh buat u happy, so lepas dah reda, i rasa i boleh harapkan kebahagian utk u jela eventhough i akan rindu u n eventhough i still syg u. i did it before and yes, i regreted it but it was for a good cause.
Her : kalau i tinggalkan u pun, i akan tetap jd kawan u and akan selalu ada utk u. u tahu mcm mana i layan kwn kan?
Her : terpaksalah cari ubat utk pulihkan sakit tu.
Her : i dah cakap dgn u, i tak nak gaduh dgn u, itu je. kalau tak gaduh, tak terasa, tak merajuk, benda tu semua takkan terjadi. i pun nak tdo. goodnight. rest well. tak payah nak nangis dah. i love u. see u tmr. kejutkan pukul 10
Her : i know how u are when it comes to all, and hey face it, u need to take it all in, and embrace it. terima kenyataan that it will happen. not now but one day. i shed tears when i talk about it, but i have to accept it. because this is life. life isnt fair right? so skg ni, kita still together, jaga la hubungan tu elok elok, jgn asyik nak gaduh je, kalau asyik gaduh, dah fed up nanti senang senang jela nak cakap break. u kena fikir sendiri la. i tak bole tlg u. see u later. night. love u.
..........................................................................................26 August 2011
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just to remember the past. i lied if i said i want u to get off from my face, i'm fucking cried when u said this is the end of your patience, this is all u can give and u don't even try to win my heart back, and u should asking why, why we are here. but thank you cause u know what to do at the end of our conversation, and i have to remind u when u first time proposed u promised that u wont leave me unless i leave u, and i dont think i can, hee. i'm feel like laughing when read all this conversation again but seriously i'm dying without u :( thanks cause bare with all my shit attitude, i'm sorry love and now and forever................ ILOVEYOU,
( twentyeightaugusttwothousandeleven <3 )
